One leg spread out on the sofa, one leg on the floor.

Perfectly still but for the typing fingers

In the future this may very well be a meditation position

Thoughts loop inside my head like a rollercoaster stuck forever on the same part of the track, uncaring about the physical laws it is breaking.

The trivial mixes with the serious.

One moment I try to grasp the direction my life is going

Another moment I think of a chocolate cake I dreamed last night.

In between, random memories flare up triggered by equally random glances at online articles

“I met him at a dinner party” says one celebrity of her celebrity husband.

Have I met anyone interesting at any of the dinner parties I’ve been?

How many parties have I been to?

Did I let any opportunity slip between the canapés?

I run the films again and again filling up the missing parts with décor out of movies and glossy magazines.

I wake up from my trance feeling vaguely angry. So many of the dinner parties I went to were shit. I feel cheated out of something even though I was not entitled to it in the first place.

But enough ridiculousness for one night.

I get up and break my attempt at achieving enlightenment through idleness

Only to find myself comically standing up with nowhere to move to.

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