These past few days are drenched in the hopelessness of repetition.
When I am talking to other people I have to make an effort to convince myself that it is really happening and when I manage that, to convince them that I acknowledge their existence and care for it.
For most of the time reality feels like a stressful dream, the kind where you are running to get out of a house only all the doors lead you to the exact same room you were before.
Or the kind where you are talking to someone and halfway through a sentence his face changes to that of someone else without the slightest sound or twitch.
Whatever small moments of lucidity I get are always accompanied by music; Dancing in a field under strobe lights or hearing a beautiful song for the first time while driving.
It is these moments that help me preserve my sanity.