Master William S. Scott’s Furniture Emporium Ltd

“What furniture would you like to become sir?”

“Umm, no, see I – ”

“Perhaps a lovely mahogany chest? Such fine texture, such vibrant red colour! You will be making a statement, make no mistake sir!”

“No, look here, I came to buy a, a chair not to – haha – turn into one. Now, please – ”

“A chair! You will be very pleased sir, very pleased that you came to our emporium. We have a large number of options to choose from! May I draw your attention to our range of turn of the century office chairs, not turn of the 20th century of course, aheh, turn of the 19th, the golden age of sophistication in furniture, where craftsmanship mattered!”

“Good good. I’m looking at something moderately priced, not highly expensive”

“For how long would you like your interlude to last sir?”

“Uh, sorry sorry, I didn’t quite get that. You mean how long I will be spending here in this shop or….?”

“I meant to say, beg your pardon, for how many days would you like to assume the form of the chair? We have discounts on over 7 days see, it is a very appealing offer, yes yes, one of the best our enterprise has offered to the public and with all modesty frankly miles ahead of our competitors sir”

“Assume the form….no no….listen….I want. To buy. A chair. Do you understand me?”

“I understand that you would like an indefinite lease on the chair? That would be highly expensive sir, highly expensive. I recall you saying that you are looking at something moderately priced? Perhaps then you will be interested in a small bronze ashtray? Nineteen Thirties! The glamour of the Golden Age of Hollywood! Why, if you forgive my boldness sir, I dare say that every day spent being this ashtray will significantly increase your standing in the high circles of our society! I see that your are leaving. Not to worry sir, not to worry at all, I will reserve this item until such time as you notify us of your decision. Good day sir!”

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