The Dark Elevator Bar

Went to the gym today……I mean for the first time…..didnt think I needed it until now……but I guess I got my midlife crisis early……next week I’ll by buying a Harley or a BMW or whatever motorised vehicle people in mid-life crisis buy…..except I don’t have the money for that……..I’m just a wage schmoe…..no gold-digger is going to want to marry me….unless she’s looking for bargain deals…..you know, a Prius instead of a Jaguar, that kind of thing…..wow that’s a lot of advertising in a single post…..actually I think it’s the first post with brands thrown in since this blog began…..free advertising…..I feel like a whore blowjobing The System…..or The Man….yeah, mid life crises ain’t pretty….so anyway I’m going out with a mate tonight….actually he’s not a mate, I got a bum off the street and paid him to be my mate for a night…..his brain is fried from his decades of boozing and he can’t chat for shit but hey, I met worst people than that at nights out so that’s not bad….I just want someone to nod when I talk….and maybe say gnaaarlll…I’m WiTH yA DudE every now and then…..I wonder sometimes if depression was infectious….like measles or Ebola or something…not AIDS though cause it’s kinda hard for depressed people to get laid…for free I mean….unless they find depressed chicks….now there’s an idea for a bar…..depressed people only….the thugs at the door will have a psychology check list….if you ain’t depressed you ain’t getting the fuck in….that kind of thing….so anyway….if it was infectious….I could go at a bar and let it spread….then those people would go to their houses and infect their mates…..and so on….until one morning you’d wake up and see people hurling themselves out the windows……driving into walls at 80 mph…..and people would try to find the antidote….in a lab…only they’d get infected too….and they’d be burning themselves with Bunsen burners or, I don’t know, drinking acid….it would be pretty messy….if anyone wants this for a movie it’s Copyrighted….I want a million dollars for it….in cash….adios you vultures…

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