The One With The Pictures

I look terrible in 2D.
I mean, I look terrible in pictures.
I mean the kind that you have to pose.
Like the ones that pesky broads need to take every ten minutes at parties.
In those pictures I look like I’m comatose
Or like half my face is paralysed.
Or like half of it is trying to make a run for it
While the other half fucked up and gets to stay behind.
Gee, I guess I bombed your photo huh! And you looked really good in that one.
Too fucking bad!
I don’t know what it is that makes me look like that.
In front of a lens I mean.
I guess some kind of childhood trauma.
Well, probably.
That’s where all the shit comes from.
I only have like about a dozen pictures that I am happy to look at them.
I keep them in a safe.
I might have to use them in my wedding or something.